Dear Tashann, You are welcome sweetheart. You are my children and I will love you guys regardless of whatever. Yes, it took some time to fully understand but I would never think of turning my back on you. Regardless of who you choose to love, you are still my daughter and even if I don’t understand all your choices I will accept you just the way you are. I am happy that you have accepted yourself and accepted that god makes no mistakes. You girls were raised to not only know right from wrong but to also show love, kindness and respect to everyone. I would have failed you as a mother had I judged and abandoned you. I get afraid too of the same people you have described and I believe that many of these parents are so overwhelmed with fear that they try their best to changed their child instead of changing themselves and their mindset to accommodate their lifestyle and soon learn to accept it. These are sensitive times and having a family or even just a few loved ones standing with you is very important, this provides a same space for you to first begin to accept yourself and strengthens emotionally for the homophobic reality outside this safe circle. If many had this they wouldn’t feel the need to turn to crime and violence for their survival, they wouldn’t turn to suicide as an escape from the hurt and self-loathing, they would not feel so alone and insecure. I want my children to be happy, to live healthy, to know that they have a safe space they can run to and a shoulder to lean on. I am here and I will always be here REGARDLESS. Love always, Mommy.
July 12, 2017
Take a seat because I’m about to get emotive, lol. Seriously, I’ve never told you how grateful I am to be able to call such an amazing woman my mother.
It must have been a lot to digest when I took home a female as my partner after seeing me date males most of my high school years. I bet just as hard as it was for me to accept myself. I saw people around me and I heard some of their stories about not being loved by their families and most importantly their parents, I refused to live in a closet but I had it easier than most because I knew you would love me irrespective of who I choose to love. I knew this because you had already accepted Taneitha, loved her just the same and opened up your arms and home to her partners’.
You not only accepted one gay daughter but three, without judgment, without hate and without shame. You have been the same Mom you were before I came out to you. You have been my confidant, my councillor, my best friend. I am lucky enough to not feel abandoned because of my sexuality and for that I am grateful.
It’s scary sometimes, knowing there are people who would hurt me or my sisters because of our sexual preferences and for the most parts their own weak egos. People who would verbally abuse and degrade us not trying for a second to understand us or if not understanding then accepting or respecting us as human beings with rights. For the most parts though I am happy. I have found my space. I think being a part of a “minority” is motivation in itself to strive to be bigger than any belief or any law that tries to oppress you. I get to be my true self and love who I want to love which is more than many can say.
With all that said. Thank you, for being there and not turning your back as many other family members did. Thank you for being a Mother first, for helping me accepting myself, thank you for loving me unconditionally.
Love Always, Tashann.